Breaking Ryan Baylor (Once Upon a Time in Bridgeport Book 1) by CH Maddington

Author:CH Maddington [Maddington, CH]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Rookie Lap (24)

“So.”

“So.”

Amara and Ryan sat across from each other in a booth at Rocco’s, their favorite pizza place, which was about a 10-minute walk from their apartment. It was Sunday, the deadline Hayes had given Ryan before he would spill the beans to Amara. He’d approached her and asked if they could talk, which caught her off-guard, seeing as he’d been all but missing for the past few days.

She agreed but suggested that it be in public so that A, the conversation didn’t get too heated, and B, they didn’t end up horizontal.

“What’d you wanna talk about?” she asked quietly, playing with the straw in her Diet Coke.

“A few things. This first one, I really don’t wanna tell you. Honestly, I don’t really wanna tell you either, but Hayes threatened that if I don’t tell you, he will.”

“Ry? You’re freaking me out right now. Can you just get on with it?”

“Fine. So, I know I’ve been holed up in my room, as you called it. But there’s a reason. I’m…I started seeing a therapist, online, twice a week.”

“Ryan, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed, genuinely excited for him.

“Yeah. We’re weeding through a lot of my issues, like the anxiety and my panic attacks. But she’s working with me on my sex addiction as well, helping me get to the root causes and whatnot. I’m…kinda meeting myself for the first time ever. It’s weird, but it turns out, I don’t really know me.”

“You have no idea how proud of you I am for confronting this. Honestly. I don’t have words. You’ve grown a lot in the few months I’ve known you.”

“Thank you.” He picked up his straw paper and twisted it into a ball. “So, one of the things she has me doing is writing. I’ve been writing a lot, about my feelings, my thoughts, anxiety triggers, etcetera. Just so you know, I’m not sitting in my room crying over you the entire time. I just needed you to know that.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. Writing can be so cathartic.”

“Cathartic! That’s the word!” he yelled, startling her, then lowered his voice. “I was trying to remember it the other day.” The waitress brought over the two slices they ordered and set them down. “Thank you, sweetie,” Ryan said.

“Of course," she replied with a wink.

“So that’s one thing. The other thing,” he said, picking at some cheese that had slid off his slice, “is that I’m in a pretty good amount of pain, Amara. I have this giant pit in my stomach and no matter what I do, how much I try to ignore it, it won’t go away. The only thing that gives me any relief at all is seeing you, but even that’s temporary because as quickly as I feel better, I instantly remember that it's over and it starts to hurt all over again.”

She picked at the crust on her slice; neither of them had eaten a thing. “I understand that. I’ve wanted to talk to you, Ry, but I don’t exactly know what to say.

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